Dum Dee Dum... I am not a super hero neither am i spiderman. I am going to save the world... like as if you would believe. I am a maniac. I came from an outer space which is filled with water. I learn swimming at the age of zero.I wail like a cry baby. I crawl like spiderman, i fly like superman, i drive like batman. I live in wonderland. Rugrats is my friend, so is peter pan.
am back frm hk... geez so god damn tired.. i think i walked n walked n walked n walked n walked... n didt buy much things. :(
realized theres a major problem with me... i find it very hard to trust someone. maybe it stems frm me having been lied to too many times previously n finally acknowledging that to lie is human. anyone who doesnt lie, is lying. hence i'm nt able to really believe in anything told me to or in love.
seriously, why do ppl wanna fall in love? imo, it causes too much pain. frm the beginning of quarrels, talkings, getting sick of talking, making a final attempt to talk, giving up, nt caring, breaking up, patching back, breaking up, feeling horrible, dragging on and finally letting go and seeing him with someone new, which part of the process doesnt hurt? it's only a matter of hw deep that's all.
recently saw an ex getting into a new relationship. saw some photos etc. feeling is kinda weird. maybe it's becoz i'm more of a denial kinda person, usually dont want to know anything if possible. but somehw i still saw. first feeling is anger. yea i know we're no longer committed to each other shldnt feel this way, plus having someone too, all the more shldnt feel this way n i chose to leave him. yea yea yea i know so dont bother reminding me. it's juz that, think like a wk ago, juz heard him telling me something like all his life he only loved one girl n will only love one girl and will wait for that one girl n wont give up (i suppose it's kinda clear to this point that this girl is me) bla bla bla, and i was like, aiya come on stop lying. i rem telling him that it was all the lies that tore everything apart and all the lies that made me who i am today. call me anything, skeptical, paranoid, insecure, wateva. n if we really were to be able to become frens somewhere down the road, try being honest with me for once. and i felt angry. very angry. honestly i dont really care if i'm his one n only for eternity or for the history or whether i was eva one n only (which i highly doubted), but i hate being treated like i've got no brains, no eyes, no ears, like i'm some kinda vegetable, so motionless that even when it's obvious i know the truth, others can still tell me things like, "it's true! why cant u juz believe me this once?" OH PLS! i might not be like damn smart but like give me some credit or respect.
wateva really. still i wanna wish him n his new start all the best n may they be able to share that something special we tried so hard to have in those past yrs. it's really time to say gdbye.
